
|
Please click on Posts by Topic in navigation to read postings and columns about the many humorous (in retrospect) events encountered by my family, friends and me. The above drawings by son Greg (way over qualified for that task) illustrated a couple of my books. You may click on each to enlarge if you wish to see more detail. And, yes, I really did hit an owl on the highway and unknowingly drive all over town with him hanging from the grille.
|
Click on the cover to buy or read excerpts from the book.
|
Pig Journal
Life with Ray has always been a wonderful adventure. In 1970, his parents retired from active farming. Ray didn't like seeing the barn go to waste so, with their permission, he ran electric wiring and water piping to the barn, bought five bred gilts and we became pig farmers. Our timing was off as that was right before the Big Pig Market Crash.
Chet, the little runt pig pictured with Ray became a family pet and quite a show pig, traveling to elementary classrooms in a gold foil-covered box with his name emblazoned in blue glitter on the side. We were only pig farmers for one year but I journaled that experience in Pig Journal which is one of many articles published in my book Human Nature Calls ... Jest for Grins. The book is available on Amazon but you may read Pig Journal free of charge by clicking here.
I have always loved this picture of Ray because he is so identifiable: same muscled calves, same cute face, same little posterior. Not every year, but most, I suggested to him that he recreate this pose on his birthday and let me take a picture. The glass table on the deck would work perfectly, I said, but he was having none of that idea so one year I made the little sign above and used toothpicks to stick it on his cake. That didn't persuade him either although the guests at his party thought it was a good idea. I could talk him into a lot of things he was reluctant to do, but never that.
We didn't realize the Halloween and pig roast event we were invited to was a costume party until a couple of hours before we had to leave. It was probably a cockamamie idea that I had to go as Brenda Starr and her Mystery Man but Ray went along with it. While he drew on a mascara mustache, I drove to the drug store and bought an eye patch for him and some red powder haircolor for me. I thought Ray looked handsome and fit the bill as the star reporter's gorgeous mystery man. It was my first and last time as a redhead because a couple of guys stared at me most of the evening and I was sure it was because they thought that was the most fake red hair they had ever seen.
![]() OK, that is me bending over and clutching the chain while talking to a man descending Chichen Itza. That is Ray beside me (Look, Ma, no hands!) who jogged up and down the steep narrow steps except for this pause to encourage me or try to hurry me up. I would have spent the night at the top of Chichen Itza if there had been a bed because coming down was much scarier.
Ray was absolutely fearless when it came to heights, caves, roller coasters or white water. Me, not so much. You can see how high and nearly straight down it looks from the camera's vantage point and from the top until you are at the very edge, it looks like there are no steps, just a very long leap to the ground. In a cave, when someone yelled "Bat!" I hit the ground and stayed there. "Get up," Ray said, "You are holding people up!" and I asked in a quavering voice, "is the bat gone?" Turned out there was no bat at all, just someone's idea of a sick joke.
I have spent hours in various amusement parks in many states watching Ray ride roller coasters. Every once in a while, he would coax me onto one but I'm sure he always regretted it. One in Kansas City did a loop-de-loop taking riders upside down twice. And when the ride was finally over, the guy running it said, "Because there's no one waiting [it was beginning to rain], I'll let you ride again. Raise your hand if you want to get off." My hands were wrapped so tight around the bar, I couldn't pry them off so, in spite of Ray later admitting that I was saying, "Want off! Want off!" I rode it a second time. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him to be married to such a scaredy cat but he was sweet about it. See why this is titled "It is a wonder that Ray put up with me!"? Still, I am so glad he did. In 1998, I wrote a column titled "A few crumbs short of a Smart Cookie" about those scary adventures I let Ray talk me into. If you'd like to read it, click here.
|
![]() For 15 years, I wrote a humor column titled Jest for Grins for my local Lawrence, Kansas Journal-World
newspaper.While I stay busy with speaking engagements, writing articles and books and serving as editor and primary writer of a newspaper for a non-profit agency, I really miss writing about the funny things life throws my way. This website allows me to do that. I freely admit to being a control freak who wants to do things on my own, but my good friend Ruth has been a tremendous help to me. I kept trying to make this website perfect before publishing, but finally decided that was like waiting to have children until you can afford them: it will never happen. So here it is; you'll get to watch it improve. If you develop into a frequent Jest for Grins visitor, you'll quickly become familiar with my usual cast of characters: husband Ray, sons Ray, Jr. (aka Butch) and Greg, daughters-in-law Linda and Valerie, grandchildren B.J., Gabe, Sammi and Zoe, sisters Lesta, Bette and Vicki, as well as a host of family and friends (not one of whom is boring). If the topic has the potential to be embarrassing to them, be assured that they read it and gave it their OK (otherwise, sister Lesta has threatened to sue me). Marsha |